Posts Tagged humor
With all the negative publicity surrounding GM lately, I offer this post as a tribute to their legacy as one of the foundational pillars of American society.
I am the proud owner of what has to be the badassiest pick-up truck on the planet.
It’s a 1987 Chevy C-10, with almost 240,000 miles on the original engine and THE ORIGINAL TRANNY. Not a day goes by that someone does not offer to buy this truck off of me. Through good times and bad, I always refuse because it is worth way more to me than anybody else. It’s magic. It cannot die.
Every time something needs to be replaced, I foolishly think something like why put any more money into this thing, it’s gonna die as soon as you put new tires on it… But it never does, it just keeps on rolling.
Today, my buddy Ant (see 1060 creative for all your video needs) again begged me to sell him the truck. After I politely refused him for the tenth time in as many days, I realized that I have been selfish. I have used the power of the truck only for my own benefit and not that of the greater society at large.
As I was thinking about how I could share this with the world, I was reminded of a another buddy of mine who once borrowed the truck while his was being repaired. He and his wife had been trying to get pregnant for a while with no success. Within hours of his borrowing the truck, they conceived. Miraculous? I’ll let you be the judge. There is however, no denying the correlation between the proximity of the truck and their increased fertility.
With that in mind, I am going to offer the truck to any and all who are having trouble getting pregnant.
For $5.00, you and your significant other can hold hands and touch the truck for five minutes. For $15.00 you can sit on the tailgate and smooch. For $50.00 you can drive around holding hands for fifteen minutes. And for $500.00, you can keep it over night and do whatever you want in it.
I am so confident in the power this truck exudes that I will offer a money back guarantee. If you don’t get pregnant within three month of using the truck, I will refund your money, no questions asked.
So if you, or any one you know, has been wasting their money on herbal remedies and fruitless visits to specialists, step out in faith and email me today. What have you got to lose?
I have four of the most beautiful children on the planet. Trust me. It works.
On Saturday night, I won a tidy some of money off of CRM Boy. He actually had the audacity to challenge me in the arena of music trivia. I know, I know, that’s sort of like challenging Mike Mulligan to a foundation digging contest, but discretion never has been the better part of his valor.
The wager came about when CRM Boy addressed the following question to the group assembled around the fire pit:
“What was the name of that Stevie Wonder song?”
I had no idea what song he was referring to and I suppose I could have gone old school but I went with the first thing that popped into my head, which was I Just Called to Say I Love You. (You Stevie Wonder fanatics can get over yourselves, I am sure you would have come up with something cooler, just let me finish my story.)
CRM Boy looked at me for a second and then blurted out, “that wasn’t Stevie Wonder, that was Lionel Ritchie!” He then proceeded to opine on how Stevie Wonder would never sing a song like that and how I was a donk for suggesting it.
Smelling blood in the water, I looked him straight in the eye, shot out my hand and said, “mister, I’ll bet you fifty bucks that it was Stevie Wonder.” Before I finished the word ‘fifty” he was out of his chair and shaking my hand. We drew our mobile phones and thumbed. Within seconds the truth was confirmed and I was fifty dollars richer. Kachow!
To add insult to injury he actually tried to argue that wikipedia was an unreliable source and shouldn’t be used for confirmation. I just smiled… and broke into a rousing chorus of Dancing on the Ceiling.
All things considered, we are blessed with awesome clients. I suppose that is exactly the sort of thing you would expect me to say when I am getting ready to post a video making fun of the vendor-client relationship. Never the less, it’s true. On rare occasions, we do run into clients who want a little more than they are willing to pay for, or who want us to teach them how to do something for free. The creators of this video understand, and what follows is a hysterical, dramatic portrayal of situations not unlike those we have found ourselves in from time to time. Enjoy.